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i love my mom, i really do... - when you don't know what to do...
do the next thing
tashabear
tashabear
i love my mom, i really do...
...but sometimes her tough love can be hard to take.

She just called me up to ask me some questions about the wedding. One of them was about what time the ceremony was going to take place, and I told her 1:30. She was the one who suggested 1:30, we've said 1:30 repeatedly in conversations about the wedding, so why does she now think it's going to be noon? I freaked. I absolutely freaked. I've been trying so hard to keep everyone in the loop, how could she forget this? And to ask me this, on top of all the rest of the drama and stress of this week? And she was utterly unsympathetic: "We all have lives, Diane.". Typical Mom. And people wonder why I'm harsh to the incompetent sometimes.

Anyway, there's no changing it now; the invites were sent today. (We pause for a moment of panic when I realize I have not weighed them, to be alleviated a moment later when I go weigh an extra on my kitchen scale and it weighs less than an ounce.) Once I explained it to her, and explained that the ceremony will only take 30 minutes, then we picnic till 4:30-ish (and I'll miss half of it because of picture-taking, unless we do the posed stuff ahead of time), at which time we shoo people up the hill for dinner at 5 (we're allowing half an hour for movement, because they probably wouldn't cooperate if I tried to form them up and march them there). Then we eat dinner and have cake and then party for a couple of hours and kick everyone out. I thought this was all understood and agreed upon -- I didn't realize I'd have to buy project planning software and send out spreadsheet updates just to get everyone on the same sheet of music.

Grar.

i feel: cranky cranky

19 trips or shoot the rapids
Comments
crafterson From: crafterson Date: May 5th, 2004 03:26 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Who's wedding is this? That's right. Sounds like a few deep breaths would be a good idea right about now! There, feel any better?

My mum almost didn't come to my wedding because she didn't have anything to wear that was as nice as the dress my MIL was wearing!
tashabear From: tashabear Date: May 5th, 2004 03:33 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Thing is, it's not just my emotions that I'm experiencing here, it's Wolfie's too. I'm that empathetic, that his strong emotions really affect me. My only defense is to withdraw from him, and I just can't do that now.

Heh... the purple dress on the to-do list is Mom's. She's wearing Viking, too.
kestrel127 From: kestrel127 Date: May 5th, 2004 03:32 pm (UTC) (base camp)
And she was utterly unsympathetic: "We all have lives, Diane."

Yeah, and how often does your daughter get married?

Maybe it's just, but that's something to schedule around. I mean, fer fucks sake!
tashabear From: tashabear Date: May 5th, 2004 03:40 pm (UTC) (base camp)
No, that was her response to my bitching about the stress of the last several days since my friend killed himself.

Thing is, stress like this is sneaky, and it jumps out at you when you last expect it. I just didn't like the implication that I should quit whining and get over it, and I will discuss it with her later.
kestrel127 From: kestrel127 Date: May 5th, 2004 03:49 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Dear gods. That's even worse.

Want me to bitchslap her for you>
tashabear From: tashabear Date: May 5th, 2004 07:09 pm (UTC) (base camp)
No no no, we're cool. I did talk to her. I think I communicated it all wrong.

My mom is actually a really wonderful person, and she's been under some stress herself -- she has houseguests for a couple of weeks, and they showed up right after she got back from an overseas trip, plus she's working, so her comment was really about how she and my sister have a lot of other things going on and can't remember everything. This one sort of surprised me, though; she's usually more on top of stuff than this.
goingdriftless From: goingdriftless Date: May 5th, 2004 03:43 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Dear Tasha's Mom,
You are stressing her out right now. Don't do that, please. We all want her to make it through this in one piece!
Thanks much....

[sympathetic sigh] HANG IN THERE.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: May 5th, 2004 03:47 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Oh, I'll make it through in one piece. Wolfie will be okay, too.

I make no guarantees about anyone else.
sandthistle From: sandthistle Date: May 5th, 2004 06:22 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Also signed: Sandthistle
skittl1321 From: skittl1321 Date: May 5th, 2004 03:51 pm (UTC) (base camp)
My only advice is to remember, you can always throw apples.
sandthistle From: sandthistle Date: May 5th, 2004 06:23 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Yeah. Weddings where the bride is armed = GOOD.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: May 5th, 2004 07:10 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Ha HA!!!!!!!

That's the best! Thanks SO much for the giggle!
s2go From: s2go Date: May 5th, 2004 04:26 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Trust me, my wedding wasn't much better received with out a time table & marching orders. You're doing great & every thing will be perfect. Just remember, the most important thing is to make sure Wolfie is there & that you both don't forget your lines *grin*. Everything else is just icing on the cake. *wink*

:: BIG SUPPORTIVE HUG ::
sandthistle From: sandthistle Date: May 5th, 2004 06:23 pm (UTC) (base camp)
...and even if you do forget your lines, so what? You can giggle about that later.

Breathe, TashaDiane, breathe...

{{{hugs}}}
tashabear From: tashabear Date: May 5th, 2004 07:19 pm (UTC) (base camp)
"Just say 'I do' whenever someone asks you a question." Bonus points for anyone who recognizes the quote.
s2go From: s2go Date: May 6th, 2004 03:16 am (UTC) (base camp)

Bonus points for me!

"Just say 'I do.' whenever someone asks you a question."

Said by Carrie to Charlie at the 4th wedding in "Four Weddings and a Funeral".

:: I have too much geek-foo in my head for one person ::
tashabear From: tashabear Date: May 6th, 2004 05:28 am (UTC) (base camp)

Re: Bonus points for me!

Ah, but such fun to play Trivial Pursuit with.
points From: points Date: May 5th, 2004 05:12 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Schedule gestapo reporting for duty, sah! Will that be Microsoft Project, SAR, hand-delivered notes, or kidnap and deliver?
tashabear From: tashabear Date: May 5th, 2004 07:20 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Attack pigeons.
19 trips or shoot the rapids