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that was hard - when you don't know what to do...
do the next thing
tashabear
tashabear
that was hard
Coronation was lovely -- though we managed to miss the actual transfer of power.  Ah well.  I had a lovely time visiting with people, and Wolfie got to shoot some archery, and I have two spandy-new apprentice sisters!  Yay seesters!  The best part was Wolfie getting his Award of Arms, so now he is Lord Vigolfr Agnarsson, and I am super-proud.  The scroll he got was lovely; I'll link to it when he scans and posts it.  The part that sucked was telling my news to everyone I ran into, and reassuring them that I was going to be okay and so on.  With every successive person, it was harder, because I was making this running tally of everyone I will miss, and that list is long. 

In the feast hall, I was sitting there surrounded by candlelight and good food and good cheer, and I had to step outside and have a good cry, because I knew that I had what I've craved all my life -- the assured knowledge that people not related to me by birth actually love and care for me and want me to be safe and happy.  It broke my heart a little bit to think that I might actually be away from this and from these people for almost two years.  And the dearth of things to read and research and do in my off-hours frightens me beyond belief.  I always have things to do here in the house.  I don't know how much room I'll have anywhere else for craft supplies (if any), and that's unnerving.  And no books... *cries*  I'm contemplating a good PDA with flash cards that Wolfie could load with eBooks for me.

And I haven't lived with someone who isn't Wolfie for years.  I really like my privacy.  Even in Basic, I craved some alone time to decompress.  The Army is not good with alone time.  I see 15 minute breaks in bathroom stalls in my future...

I got to talk to my friend tonight.  We were talking briefly about "why me", and I mentioned that it might be because of my port operations experience, and he agreed with me, and very comfortingly pointed out that as there is only one small port in Iraq, and the US does not control it (one of our allies does).  He also informed me that rail is not used much, if at all, in theater, which thrills me no end.  Rail is my least favorite mode of transportation to manage, because railheads are dirty and dangerous and I've just never enjoyed it.  Trucks are cool.  Ships are uber-cool.  Planes we leave to the flyboys (for the most part; I've never been asked to load one).  But railcars just suck.

So, the IBS might make me non-deployable, but even if that doesn't work out, the likelihood of ending up in Iraq is just a little bit smaller.

i feel: tired tired

8 trips or shoot the rapids
Comments
wengeue From: wengeue Date: October 2nd, 2004 10:15 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Congratulations to the new Lord Vigolfr Agnarsson!

The privacy issue is one of the reasons I always knew I wasn't cut out for the military. Or for having roommates in general... in college I always got single rooms.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: October 3rd, 2004 05:23 am (UTC) (base camp)
*A* roommate would be fine. I fear *five* roommates, like in Basic, or open bays, like the last time I went to Annual Training.

I didn't get a single till 2nd semester senior year. First I was too low ranking (military school), and then our dorm was too full. :-(
sandthistle From: sandthistle Date: October 3rd, 2004 05:43 am (UTC) (base camp)
Tashabear, I am still sending good thoughts, and hopes that you end up stateside, at worst... What's this about no books?!

*hugs* *fuzzy hellos from Riley and Blake*
tashabear From: tashabear Date: October 3rd, 2004 06:37 am (UTC) (base camp)
When you're personal luggage allotment is limited, you don't get a lot of room for books -- plus real books are heavy. I don't imagine there's a Barnes & Noble or a Borders in Kuwait, either, so e-books it is (not that they have the history and archeology texts I really want to read anyway).

I actually don't mind reading books on a PDA; I know a lot of people prefer actual paper books and find it jarring to read text on a screen. I'd already run into this issue when I was a drilling Reservist, just going away for two weeks, because I read fast. So if this is the route I need to take, I'm hopeful that between eBooks.com and Project Gutenberg I'll get all the written word I need to satisfy my thirsty little brain.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: October 3rd, 2004 06:41 am (UTC) (base camp)
Plus -- Amazon has almost all of LKH's Anita and Merry Gentry books in electronic format! Squee!
perspicuity From: perspicuity Date: October 3rd, 2004 08:32 am (UTC) (base camp)
a pda might get smacked around a lot, and depending on environment, even fail... you might burn some cds of materials and pictures you want (especially against possibility of lack of net), there should be computers to read from, eh? and cds can be armored in a case at least. perhaps they can also be printed for reading away from the computer.

as for books, well, i imagine that once you're settled in, the mail system can get stuff to you. i know folx stationed that got regular care packages of dvds even.

oh, on crafts... small tools like crochet hooks, use local materials, or again, via the mail route and hand out to fellow folx as completed. x-stitch?

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tashabear From: tashabear Date: October 3rd, 2004 09:04 am (UTC) (base camp)
If the environment is so harsh that my PDA fails when stored in my footlocker, for my personal use, then there will not be computers for me to use just to read books. I guarantee it. My best friend's unit is so understocked with computers that all the officers are taking their own laptops and having them reimaged so they have something to work on (I think it's a battalion or regimental headquarters). Printing? Don't make me laugh. Why would I waste the paper to print out a book for personal use?

Yes, I could receive books. Where would I store them? See above re: footlockers (if I even have one; I might have to live out of a duffle bag). I'm very proprietary about books. I keep them. I may lend, but I want them back, and other people don't treat them as nicely as I do. Ebooks are also often cheaper. DVDs are a different thing, and as I would find watching a movie to be a communal event, I have no issues with sharing them with others. Reading a book is private time for me, and you can't even imagine what a priceless thing that will be for me.

I'm not even considering craft stuff at the moment. My knitting needles and tools are compact enough that I'm not worrying about transporting them. Local materials... we'll see what they have. I'm not real optimistic about find a yarn shop in Kuwait City, though, and doubt there will be much of an opportunity to find, scour, prepare, and spin anything. Wolfie and I have joked about him sending me roving and me sending back yarn, though -- I can easily build spindles ir have him send a couple of spindle kits to me (I have about 30 already made, anyway).

I don't really care for cross-stitch anymore, but if I can keep it clean, I might do some surface embroidery. We'll see where I end up and where I'll be living.
(Deleted comment)
tashabear From: tashabear Date: October 3rd, 2004 01:09 pm (UTC) (base camp)
I don't actually do the "lift and load" bit; I make sure things are loaded correctly and the paperwork is filled out right. I usually end up staying in one place and sending vehicles out -- I've been working at Corps level for years.

My particular area of expertise is port operations (cargo ships), so I'll be in a fixed location. I just don't know what my living conditions will be, and if I'll even have a wall locker or foot locker to put my stuff in.
8 trips or shoot the rapids