?

Log in

No account? Create an account
whitewater consciousness -- the journal fellow travellers itinerary meet your guide whitewater consciousness -- the website upstream upstream downstream downstream
teeter totter - when you don't know what to do... — LiveJournal
do the next thing
tashabear
tashabear
teeter totter
Y'know those little balancing sculptures? The ones like with the gull that balances on one wing? I feel like that lately. Somehow I have managed to
  • commit to something every day of every weekend between now and the end of the month
  • get a job that has really fucked up my wrist
  • work myself into a state of insomnia again (with accompanying emotional instability)

It's that last one that bugs me. I feel exhausted all the time, and when I'm not exhausted, something hurts, or I feel sick. It means I can't do my sports, which makes me even more depressed. I don't want to go and do anything, especially not when it means I have to smile and be nice to people, and that means that I'm no fun for poor Wolfie to hang out with.

That's probably not true. But I feel like I'm a total drag for everybody, and a burden to my friends.

Welcome to the downward spiral of a clinical depressive. I'll probably snap out of it.

Sometime.

Whatever.

i feel: depressed depressed

2 trips or shoot the rapids
Comments
bellatrixx From: bellatrixx Date: September 13th, 2002 11:26 pm (UTC) (base camp)
*hugs* Cancel something. Anything, for at least a few of those days. 2 or 3, at the least. And then take a day for yourself to unwind. You sure sound like you need it.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: September 14th, 2002 08:37 pm (UTC) (base camp)

I wish I could. But one was the equestrian event we did today (more about that in a subsequent post), one is a bridal shower, then there's a housewarming party, an SCA demo where I get to sit around in garb and spin, and a wedding. I *could* cancel some, but they look to be fun, in truth. I was just really down, mostly about my wrist. I feel much better now; a day in the fresh air with my sweetie and my friends and horsies was just what I needed.
2 trips or shoot the rapids