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sad bear - when you don't know what to do...
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tashabear
tashabear
sad bear
I haven't been happy since Pennsic.  There have been a couple of good days, but I can count the number of times I've left the house on one hand, and leave my thumb out of the count entirely.

Part of it is, I'm having a project drop.  Between finishing all the sewing for Pennsic and Pennsic itself, I've been super busy for a couple of months now, or at least I had project planning with which to occupy my brain.  I got a similar drop after my wedding a couple of years ago.  Everything's over, and you're used to a certain optempo, and your mind is saying, "Now what?"  That, I can sort of deal with.

But my parents have finally sold their house, after living there for over thirty years, after it being on the market for nearly six years.  I've been dreading this.  That's the house I grew up in, that's the house I could always come home to.  We knew every board in the floors, every creak of the stairs.  We knew that to lock the back door you had to get the deadbolt turned halfway and then you jiggle it, and it turns the rest of the way.  And it, and the three-unit apartment house, are being turned into condos by a developer, and it's not going to be there anymore.  Not for me.  No more family dinners around the big dining room table.  I know my parents can't keep up with the place anymore, and they found a place they like in Shirley (which means that they will no longer be living in the 495/93 corridor, and going to visit will be a total pain, so I'll see even less of my mother), and there's no way in hell I could have afforded it... but I'm heartbroken just the same.

Also, I need to find a job, and I seriously can't even begin to express how very much I hate job hunting.  My resume needs updating, and I don't even know what I want to do.  I think I might email Simmons and a couple of other schools and see what it would take to get into grad school.  Even if I never work in a library, the database management skills would be key.

All that, and I didn't even realize I was doing it, but I stopped smoking cold turkey after Pennsic, and I've been feeling lousy for like a week.  I may have a couple here and there, just to see if it helps my mood and the general malaise I've been feeling... if I can get off my ass to go outside.  Seriously.  It's been like that.

i feel: depressed depressed

18 trips or shoot the rapids
Comments
ariadne1 From: ariadne1 Date: August 30th, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Jeez, Tashawoman, between the sale of the Family House and the nicotine withdrawal and post-project crash and post-Pennsic and resume updating and of course you're feeling blue!

*hugs you*

So much at once. Any one of those things would be enough for a case of bletch by itself.

*shakes head*

Got a little project you can poke at that's been just waiting for a moment like this? Something forgotten in the back of a space somewhere?

*hugs you again*

Good thoughts winging your way... it is seriously hard when the family domain is sold... I understand... *sighs*
tashabear From: tashabear Date: August 30th, 2006 11:38 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Thanks sweetie. I think I need to make my own courage and strength playlist, crank it up, and get started on all the yak shaving that has to happen before I can actually be productive. I am going out to lunch with a couple of girlfriends tomorrow, and I might be able to get some supplies to make a couple of my smaller projects happen -- it's not like there isn't a list.

*hug*
emmacrew From: emmacrew Date: August 30th, 2006 11:58 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Out to lunch and shopping for supplies sounds like a great plan.
emmacrew From: emmacrew Date: August 30th, 2006 11:56 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Agreed entirely.


Though I'd also add "since you've got a head start, maybe stay off the cigarettes?"
tashabear From: tashabear Date: August 31st, 2006 12:08 am (UTC) (base camp)
It's more of an experiment to see if one or two make me feel any better. If they don't, then I might as well stay off. If they do, I can wean myself with less side effects. The way I feel right now, I'm okay with taking a little longer to finish the process.
emmacrew From: emmacrew Date: August 31st, 2006 12:10 am (UTC) (base camp)
OK. I just want you healthy *AND* happy!
(plus, think of the money you'll save!)
mysticsablewolf From: mysticsablewolf Date: August 31st, 2006 07:40 am (UTC) (base camp)
Hey hon... sorry you've got the blues... I can fully commiserate.

On the job front... are there any temp agencies in or near where you are? Some places to Temp to Perm... or short or long term jobs which gives you the flexibility to decide what you want to do and gives you up to date experience for your resume.

Just a thought.

Hugs!
palegreyminion From: palegreyminion Date: August 31st, 2006 08:23 am (UTC) (base camp)
Dunno if it'll make you feel any better, but I usually get the blues for a week or two after Pennsic every year. Pennsic is such an intense experience, whether it was a good one or a bad one, that coming back to normal life can't help but feel like a letdown to me.
booniesjen From: booniesjen Date: August 31st, 2006 08:41 am (UTC) (base camp)
So, maybe we should make a tradition of getting together for lunch a week or two after Pennsic so we have something to look forward to and to get us out of the house. :)
tashabear From: tashabear Date: August 31st, 2006 12:02 pm (UTC) (base camp)
If it was just that, I'd be fine, but with the sale of Mom & Dad's house on top of it, I've been feeling really crushed. Hopefully Alfredo sauce will help with that. :-)
starseeker1221 From: starseeker1221 Date: August 31st, 2006 04:03 pm (UTC) (base camp)
If that doesn't do the trick, there is always chocolate sauce :-)
tashabear From: tashabear Date: August 31st, 2006 11:52 pm (UTC) (base camp)
A trip to Kimball's for a hot fudge sundae is always a good thing. :-D
amcnh From: amcnh Date: August 31st, 2006 09:13 am (UTC) (base camp)
May I also suggest going out for walks. If you don't have some place you can walk drive to a nearby park and walk. I never thought that walking would do much, but when I have gotten into a funk during my recovery, going out for a walk and pushing myself just a little bit each time with my Ipod playing and just being with myself has improved my mood immensely. The day I did a mile, I was in a serious funk. At the half way point, the funk lessened. However, when I got back home and tracked how long I had been out and how far I had gone...it left me completely.

*hugs*


soteltie From: soteltie Date: August 31st, 2006 12:28 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Maybe it is time for yummy goodies from Thwaite's Market?
Hugs,
j
tashabear From: tashabear Date: September 1st, 2006 12:33 am (UTC) (base camp)
Not a bad idea -- bangers with apples, yum.
nudgeprincess From: nudgeprincess Date: September 2nd, 2006 11:44 am (UTC) (base camp)
No one warned me about Post-Pennsic Mailaise but I am afraid that I have it too. Soteltie and I were talking about a little sewing, savory meat pies, ladies lunch kind of thing sometime soon. Good to keep your fingers busy while you fight the no smoking war and selfishly it would be fun for me to have some project gurus to beg advice from. The girl who wasn't sure she would like this stuff is now planning new garb for Goldsquare and for me. I have a bolt of gold velvet and some beautiful linen and a pile of trim calling out to me...
tashabear From: tashabear Date: September 2nd, 2006 04:48 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Sounds good! I have some stuff I'd like to get done for Coronation.
nudgeprincess From: nudgeprincess Date: September 2nd, 2006 11:47 am (UTC) (base camp)

On another note

I have a lot of business contacts and perhaps there might be something I can do to help on the job front--call or email me if you want and we can chat about specifics
18 trips or shoot the rapids