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ponderings (which is really just a euphemism for angsty whining) - when you don't know what to do... — LiveJournal
do the next thing
ponderings (which is really just a euphemism for angsty whining)
I have absolutely no idea how I really feel right now. I've been feeling a low grade aggravation and tiredness lately. Wolfie says it's SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and since I basically don't see the light of day when I'm not working, that could very well be true. I dislike being idle, I don't like not having a project to work on. It takes my mind off the rest of the crap in my life. I've been planning my tunic project for months, and I have two classes coming up that I need to get descriptions e-mailed out for, so it's not like I don't have things to think about. I just have no motivation.

I hate being like that. I want to have energy and motivation to get out and attack the day and get a lot accomplished. Maybe I just don't see that I have a lot done. I mean, in the space of two and a half months I made a baby sweater and a half (well, two halves; I ran out of yarn on my first attempt and haven't bothered to buy any more), three earwarmers, five hats, and a pair of socks. And yet I don't feel like I did enough.

I mis the dojo, and I miss riding. I don't have enough money for the one and Wolfie doesn't want to ride in the winter (I'm not all that hot on it either). There are barns closer to home with indoor arenas, and high lesson costs to match, so there goes that idea. I'm toying with the idea of finding a jazz dance studio, just so I get some movement into my life. But I miss my friends at the dojo...

Grar. I hate having these great ideas and plans and not following through. Makes me feel like such a loser. I feel ungrateful and like a poor sport for being dissatisfied, too.

Feh. Must be another downturn.

On the bright side, I have an indefinite temp assignment starting tomorrow, and that means that maybe the week after next I can take the new computer to the gurus to get it working right.

I have yarn to make socks for Mom and Sis and Wolfie, and they proceed pretty quickly. I almost have the basic pattern memorized; just had to check to make sure I did the heel turn and gusset decreases correctly.

I got a nice compliment from someone on the SCA-Mongols list, someone I really respect. She said that I "get" roof ring design, because our ring is amazingly light compared to most in the SCA, which is really all you need. I've gotta meet this woman someday!

I'm going to St. Distaff's Day this Sunday in Westford. Hopefully there will be some SCAdians there; I need to post the announcement on SCA_Spinning.

Life isn't all suck. It's just that the sucky parts are so in your face they tend to obscure the non-sucky parts.

i feel: aggravated aggravated

2 trips or shoot the rapids
points From: points Date: January 7th, 2003 01:11 am (UTC) (base camp)
Here's something I've been trying when I get at my worst. I make a 'todo' list. And I try and put everything on it. The small fiddly stuff even. I do not put 'huge' tasks on it... the sort of thing that never gets finished. Rather, I break it down into steps that are, at most, a few hours each.

Then, I work through items on the list, taking them off as I get them finished. I don't add to it, and don't make a new list (even though I -do- do other tasks) until I get the current list emptied.

It seems pointless, but it can help keep one's self demi-organized, and let you feel like you did, indeed, accomplish something.
From: reasdream Date: January 7th, 2003 07:34 am (UTC) (base camp)
since you offered to help me, I offer you a possible help...
The new york city ballet has a
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since you offered to help me, I offer you a possible help...
The new york city ballet has a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000056MMR/qid=1041953472/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-1112450-9238366?v=glance&s=dvd&n=507846"new">workout dvd</a>, which isn't jazz dance, and isn't terrible cheap, but its one-time price, and a gooood workout. (sister has it, so I know for myself how good it is). Of course, I just realized you might not have a dvd player. Um... oops.

Oh, no wait ! they have a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000056MO2/qid=1041953472/sr=8-4/ref=sr_8_4/104-1112450-9238366?v=glance&s=video&n=507846"new">vhs version,</a> too. Does this help any?

Hope you feel better soon! Winter blahs areno fun at all.
2 trips or shoot the rapids