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it was a good day - when you don't know what to do...
do the next thing
tashabear
tashabear
it was a good day
So this weekend...

Wolfie and I both had to work on Saturday morning, and then he had band rehearsal in the afternoon/evening. We were going to go out after, but he got back too late. No biggie; I was having these weird tummy pains. I was a little disappointed, but I got over it. :-)

Sunday... oh, Sunday. We went to his mom's house for Easter dinner, and got yet another object lesson in timeliness -- we were maybe 20-30 minutes late for dinner and they started without us. Is it me or is that a little off? Oh well; it's not like there wasn't plenty to be had. By the time we got to Wolfie's (early) birthday cake, they still hadn't noticed my ring, so I ended up telling them all that we're getting married. I think his mom was a little disappointed in my engagement ring, but it's what I wanted, so :-P. :-) She's really happy for us, and has offered us help in paying for the wedding, but we're going to wait and see how things go before we accept any outside help. I'm not worried about the site or the catering; I'm okay with figuring those costs. It's stuff like photography and music that bug me. Photographers rarely put prices up on their websites, and I want to know whether they're at all in my price range before Icontact them and get the sales pitch. I hate pitches.

I felt so guilty when I was discussing the guest list. We hadn't put any of Wolfie's aunts and uncles on, and I felt like his mom thought we were slightly his family in favor of mine, which isn't so -- we just hadn't talked about it. No worries, though; even adding his aunts and uncles is only ten more people, which is still fairly small. Mom and I are really going to have to sit down and discuss caterers, though, because this could get expensive. It'll all work out somehow, though. These things always do. :-)

i feel: tired tired

3 trips or shoot the rapids
Comments
perspicuity From: perspicuity Date: April 21st, 2003 06:33 am (UTC) (base camp)
hmmmm

"Sunday... oh, Sunday. We went to his mom's house for Easter dinner, and got yet another object lesson in timeliness -- we were maybe 20-30 minutes late for dinner and they started without us. Is it me or is that a little off? "

it's almost always been my feeling, because of the way i was beaten er
raised, that if a Dinner has a TIME, it starts ON TIME, with or without
you, even if you called that you are late, unless there is other compelling
reason. Esp for small events, Esp Esp for things where there is a schedule,
and keeping the others waiting is well, not a good thing.

it's nice if they do wait, but i think miss manners would say something
like "count yourself lucky they left you anything :>"

mind, i've been late sometimes, and i even try to call ahead so they
know i'm not dead (dying on a host is rude :>) or blowing them off (even
more rude). i don't expect them to wait for me generally either. it's
just not done. mortifying as that might be.

tashabear From: tashabear Date: April 21st, 2003 06:58 am (UTC) (base camp)
But see, that's the difference between his mom and mine -- my mom builds in fudge time by having beverages and hors d'oeuvres before dinner. When I hear "be there at 1," I understand "people will be getting here at 1, we'll probably eat at 1:30 or so." I mean, we called her to tell her we were on our way.

So I guess it's just a communications thing, and I'll have to do what I do with my mom. When told what time to be there, I'll ask whether that's dinner time or arrival time, and plan accordingly. (Of course, she was planning on calling us Sunday morning to tell us what time to be there, despite the fact hat we've told her before that we sleep in on weekends and the phone in the bedroom has no ringer.)
perspicuity From: perspicuity Date: April 21st, 2003 07:10 am (UTC) (base camp)

So I guess it's just a communications thing, and I'll have to do what I do with my mom. When told what time to be there, I'll ask whether that's dinner time or arrival time, and plan accordingly.


hmmm, yes. communications. good stuff.

i've found with many geek types in fandom, that when i'm the one driving a schedule, say for pickups for a roadtrip, or some event, that i have to provide them a literal CONTRACT defining out everything, because someone uses a different style, or is thinking that schedules are just "approximations" and that nobody really keeps them. i leanred this valuable lesson one time, when i said "i'll be IN your drive way for loadup at 10:00 and i expect we'll be on our way no later than 10:20", they took this to mean that we'd be getting READY to leave at 10:20, which meant that they had at least 30 to 45 minutes to fudge. which meant they really took longer. bah. after that, i said "i will arrive at 10:00, you will immediately put your things in my car, and get settled, and i promptly will leave at 10:20, and if you are not IN MY CAR, then i'm leaving without you." that worked :>

so, i guess for dinner, if you're used to "show up at 1 to mean that dinner really start 30 minutes later" it's a tougher call in communications style.

3 trips or shoot the rapids