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whitewater consciousness -- the journal fellow travellers itinerary meet your guide whitewater consciousness -- the website upstream upstream downstream downstream
so here's what I want you to do - when you don't know what to do...
do the next thing
so here's what I want you to do
Most of you know that my beloved husband, Wolfie, passed away on December 15th. (If you didn't, don't worry about it; I friends-locked the posts about his illness. He had H1N1 and died of complications after a seven week struggle.) He was much loved by his friends and family, and will be missed by more people that I think even he would have guessed.

So many of you have said how his art inspired you, and how you were touched by his humor and kindness and generosity. Here's what I want you to do:

If you see someone having a bad day, ask them what's troubling them. Give them a chance to vent. Sometimes that's all they want.

Pay random compliments.

Share. Share your time, share a joke, share a hug, share a drink.

Appreciate the beauty of the world. Everyone has a story, and they want to tell it.

Help people. Even getting something off the top shelf in the grocery store can make someone's day. Think of what helping with the clean-up after a party can do.


Be kind. Be loving. Be awesome to one another.

Don't forget him. Tell stories about him. Tell the people you love how you feel. I never missed a chance to tell him that I loved him -- don't ever miss a chance in your own lives.

Thanks, y'all. Go forth and do good things.

i feel: okay okay

96 trips or shoot the rapids
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merimask From: merimask Date: December 17th, 2009 05:24 am (UTC) (base camp)
Thank you for sharing this journey with us over the past couple of months, painful and heartbreaking as it has been. It's changed me & I'm sure I'm not the only person that feels this way.

Thank you also for the inspirational words. To me, the most inspiring thing has been the strength of your love...you've been like a rock. Wolfie was a lucky man to have you in his life.

Reading your older entries, I was struck by how much you two enjoyed each other's company. You had so much fun being together. You'll never have to second guess yourself & wonder if you were as good to each other as you ought to be; you always were there for each other with open hearts. I'm going to try hard to be more like that, too, so thank you (both of you) most of all for that important lesson.

I'm taking my husband on a nice beach vacation because of all of this. Life's too short.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 05:42 am (UTC) (base camp)
Oh, hell yeah! That's awesome. Have a blast, and I want to see pictures when you get back!
dreamtigress From: dreamtigress Date: December 17th, 2009 05:24 am (UTC) (base camp)
You amaze me, woman, and make me glad again that I met you. May I re-post this to my journal ?
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 05:43 am (UTC) (base camp)
Absolutely. Feel free to tweak so no one wonders when you got married. ;-)
ariadne1 From: ariadne1 Date: December 17th, 2009 05:26 am (UTC) (base camp)
*squishes you* *wraps you in something warm and soft*

Always, Tasha. Holding you in my heart.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 05:44 am (UTC) (base camp)
Love you.
xianghua From: xianghua Date: December 17th, 2009 05:42 am (UTC) (base camp)
Oh my god Tasha, I am so sorry.

Good thoughts for you.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 05:43 am (UTC) (base camp)
Thanks. ;-)
ladymorgaine From: ladymorgaine Date: December 17th, 2009 05:58 am (UTC) (base camp)
(((hugs))) I can't tell you enough how amazing I think you are, how much you inspire me, time and time again. This time you inspire me to live, to love, and to cherish. I, too, would like to repost this in my journal if that's okay with you...it's too important a message to not spread it around a bit.

I felt the same way after my friend Kyle died this summer. I never let anyone out of my sight without telling them that I loved them. I noticed every little thing and every big thing and everything in between that is beautiful and special. I went to visit friends, even though I probably couldn't afford it at the time, because I was reminded all too clearly that there might not be a next time.

I'm sorry, I'm babbling. Just know that I hear you loud and clear, and I will continue to do all of these things. I promise.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 06:04 am (UTC) (base camp)
You're not babbling. And please share it -- I think he'd agree with what I've said, and be embarrassed as hell, and you should do it anyway. He never wanted the spotlight, but he always deserved it.
plsurkity From: plsurkity Date: December 17th, 2009 07:13 am (UTC) (base camp)
you truly are an inspiration to us all. i'm so glad i got to meet you both before this. even with my own memory damage, i do remember meeting your husband. he was delightful to meet.

please do keep us posted on the comming details. we are all keeping you in our prayers.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 07:19 am (UTC) (base camp)
Okay, this is awful... when did we meet? I'm afraid I'm totally spacing it.
matthiasrat From: matthiasrat Date: December 17th, 2009 09:10 am (UTC) (base camp)
I will do my best to remember this for his sake and your own, and also for mine and Kim's. I can see him right now, smiling and looking up, be he sitting down at his table at AC, or in a more glorious land to a more glorious face. Either way I'll never forget him nor the friendship we had, and that through him I got to meet you too. And for that I have been blessed.

God bless you, Tasha, and all your family. I pray that you will meet again one day in Heaven.

Dominus tecum
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 09:30 am (UTC) (base camp)
You live it already, hon, in your own way. We always looked forward to seeing you at AC. I'm debating now whether I'm going or not, as it falls squarely over our wedding anniversary, and it won't be the same without him to merchant with. We'll see... there's time yet.

He's been telling me he loves me all evening, and I know he's waiting for me.
timestep From: timestep Date: December 17th, 2009 11:22 am (UTC) (base camp)
I've been thinking about you for days. Continued P&PT and many, many gentle hugs.
stringgeek From: stringgeek Date: December 17th, 2009 11:59 am (UTC) (base camp)
I am astounded and awed by your strength and optimism in the face of true adversity, Tasha. I've been doing some of these things for a long time (especially telling my friends & family that I love them), but will step it up for Wolfie. Well, except for getting things off the top shelves at the grocery store, since I'm too height-challenged for that. :o)

I will start here: <3 <3 <3 to you. :-D
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 01:42 pm (UTC) (base camp)
You're always taller than someone, honey. ;-)
mare_in_flames From: mare_in_flames Date: December 17th, 2009 12:11 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Yes ma'am.

(Like I would refuse you anything now.)
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 01:43 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Like you could do anything other than this. You do it already.
nazrynn From: nazrynn Date: December 17th, 2009 12:20 pm (UTC) (base camp)
At our wedding, my husband and my mother-in-law danced together to What a Wonderful World. And that song ran through my head, again, when I read this.

Today, that song is for both of you.

I will try to continue paying forward the kindness, generosity, and love you've both shown over the years. It's the very least I can do.
Thank you, for being a wonderful friend.

booniesjen From: booniesjen Date: December 17th, 2009 12:37 pm (UTC) (base camp)
You are an amazing and wonderful woman. We will do as you say. :)
And your comment about hearing his voice telling you he loves you, believe it! From experiences that have happened in my family, with witnesses, I don't doubt that there is some part of the person that can let you know you were loved and they are fine after they pass.
sibilla_dangers From: sibilla_dangers Date: December 17th, 2009 12:51 pm (UTC) (base camp)
you got it hon! I'd like to re-post too.

I knew you were a strong, no-nonsense, do what needs doing kind of lady 3 years ago when you helped save me. But following along through this - your strength has been astounding. Faith like that does not come along every day. You both are so lucky to have each other. I'm grateful to know you both.

love you and looking forward to sharing a drink soon.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Please do. Love you.
starseeker1221 From: starseeker1221 Date: December 17th, 2009 01:14 pm (UTC) (base camp)
I will do my best every day. Although I think I'm the last person anyone wants to help them get something off the top shelf! (Can you imagine the mess?!?! :-)

You are one of the strongest women I know, and I am honored every day to call you a friend. I love you.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 01:45 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Like I said to stringgeek, you're always taller than someone. Or you can make shadowpony do it. ;-) Love you too.
soldiergrrrl From: soldiergrrrl Date: December 17th, 2009 01:26 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Tasha, we've never met in person, and I don't know that we will, but you and Wolfie both found a place in my heart as you fought so hard, and loved so well. Please know that someone in Texas is praying for you both, and I know you'll meet again someday.

I cried when I read that Wolfie had passed, and I'm crying now, both because I mourn the loss of someone I would have loved to know, and because your strength amazes and awes me.
tashabear From: tashabear Date: December 17th, 2009 02:18 pm (UTC) (base camp)
You and I will meet, I'm sure. The world is too small not to. And I know Wolfie's waiting for me. I'm impatient to see him, but not so much as to hasten the journey. He's going to want stories.
96 trips or shoot the rapids
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