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the 20 commandments of motorcycling - when you don't know what to do... — LiveJournal
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the 20 commandments of motorcycling
Shamelessly stolen off another forum.

The 20 commandments of motorcycle wisdom

1. Every ride is optional. Every parking job is mandatory.

2. If you push the bars left, the bike goes left. If you push the bars right, the bike goes right. That is, unless you continue pushing the bars all the way, then the bike will go down.

3. Riding isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

4. It's always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the track than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.

5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The rear wheel is just a big fan on back of the bike used to keep the rider cool and his/her butt relaxed. If going into a corner too fast, slamming on the rear brake causes the "fan" to abruptly stop. When this happens you can actually see the rider start sweating and his/her butt become tense.

7. When in doubt, slow down. No one has ever hit something too slow.

8. A 'good' ride is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' ride is one after which you can use the bike again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've left the sidestand down when all left turn are Bat-turns. You know you've left the Centerstand down when your in 1st gear at 4000 rpm going nowhere.

11. Never let a motorcycle take you somewhere your brain didn't get to three seconds earlier.

12. Always try to keep the number of times you put your sidestand down equal to the number of times you put the sidestand up.

13. There are two simple rules for riding smoothly and fast in snow and on ice. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

15. If all you can see in your mirrors is sparks and all you can hear is screaming from your passenger, things may not be as they should be.

16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of metal, rubber and fiberglass going 100+ miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for cars, large trucks, and animals taller than you. Draws don't count.

17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

18. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

19. Remember, gravity and centrifugal force are not just a good ideas. They're laws and are not subject to appeal.

20. The two most useless things to a rider are the braking distance behind you and nine-tenth of a second ago.

i feel: amused amused

11 trips or shoot the rapids
hugh_mannity From: hugh_mannity Date: January 18th, 2010 06:12 pm (UTC) (base camp)
13. There are two simple rules for riding smoothly and fast in snow and on ice. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

That is so damned true. There was this one night I turned onto the street parallel to mine (but not uphill), got about 30 yards to where there was a working street light, and saw that the whole road (including the 30 yards I'd just ridden over) was covered in ice from a burst water main. Until that point, I'd known both those rules. They disappeared when the light shone on the ice. I made it to the nearest curb, parked the bike, walked up through my downhill neighbour's yard to my place. And didn't get to even look at the bike for about 3 days -- by which time the ice was all melted.
mare_in_flames From: mare_in_flames Date: January 18th, 2010 06:25 pm (UTC) (base camp)
Sent to Eric the Contractor, who is an incurable motorcyclist.

Incidentally, I found out about JB Weld from EtC when he claimed that his friend Tyson's first motorcycle was comprised of at least 40% JB Weld. By weight.
pickleboot From: pickleboot Date: January 18th, 2010 08:52 pm (UTC) (base camp)
i love 13.

i remember sitting in a chicago bar before i was leaving to get married and listening to this guy that was a legend in the goth/industrial scene way back when talk about how when he was in college the only mode of transport he had was an old ducatti(i know i spelled that wrong. what can i say- i'm tired and it was my dream bile at the time. now i want one of the older one of those and an old triumph. (drool) he had brought it back from where he was stationed in germany, and he would ride it in winter in a dry suit with a wet suit over it. yes- diving suits. at least il has helmet laws, and he did follow them, but finally the luck bag emptied out before the other and the bike was totaled- not during winter, but during one of those freak midwestern hail storms, sitting by a sidewalk cafe. i still can't believe he rode that thing year-round, though. ugh.

i will have to pass this on to some friends of mine!
tashabear From: tashabear Date: January 18th, 2010 08:56 pm (UTC) (base camp)
I have a couple of friends in CA who are bike-only, but I can't fathom doing that here in New England. The roads suck too badly in the winter, and public transportation is too hit or miss outside of Boston.
pickleboot From: pickleboot Date: January 18th, 2010 09:14 pm (UTC) (base camp)
you get a few here in minnesota. i saw someone a few weeks ago when the roads were barely fit for cars out on his bike, white knuckling it until he got up to the corner gas station, and then parked it, called a friend, bought a tarp, and waitied until the friend showed up with a pick up and they hauled the bike off. the thing was, it had been snowing for hours by that point, the roads were horrible, and it seemed as if he had been out in it all along.

i have seen a few of the three wheelers out this winter- both the low riders and the newer ones that i just think look cool. a friend's husband has one he uses for commuting in new mexico, but that makes sense. it's warm there year round, well warmer than where we grew up at least! all three of us grew up in illinois, so pretty much anywhere south is warm compared to prairie winters.

but yeah- i can imagine riding in southern california, florida, and maybe a few of the other gulf areas, but i don't think i would risk winter riding. if i owned a bike, which is still a dream of mine.
derekl1963 From: derekl1963 Date: January 18th, 2010 10:36 pm (UTC) (base camp)
'Round these parts the three signs of spring are;

1) The return of songbirds
2) Garage sale signs
3) Cycles on the highway
sheepdog From: sheepdog Date: January 19th, 2010 07:13 am (UTC) (base camp)
tashabear From: tashabear Date: January 19th, 2010 07:15 am (UTC) (base camp)
It's funny because it's TRUE!
cellach_codex From: cellach_codex Date: January 19th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC) (base camp)
#15: "Oops..."

God, I can't wait for Harry's Place to open again. Late April, from the sign - local bikers love to hang out there, and Route 85 just outside the computer room window becomes the road-rally stretch from Willimantic/Hebron to town, just spitting distance to the burger stand.
albreda From: albreda Date: January 19th, 2010 03:45 pm (UTC) (base camp)
MOst of those rules apply equally well to life in general! Thanks for sharing them!
pantherwill From: pantherwill Date: January 19th, 2010 11:29 pm (UTC) (base camp)
And if your bike is suddenly lighter than it was, a few seconds ago, stop and let your passenger get back on.
11 trips or shoot the rapids